Posted on 14 November, 2016 at 21:27
On a London hopper bus the other day, it was certainly a pleasure to get in out of the cold, wet and windy U.K winter weather. I took my seat just behind the screen near the exit door (I use it as a draft blocker for those in the know) and snuggled down for my ride back to the Shires.
There was another bus in front of our hopper which was waiting for the traffic lights to switch and let us out of the bus station, out onto the road, but we were still stationary at the bus stop when a tapping was heard. We (the handful of approx. 10 passengers that had entered and the bus driver) all looked over to the door, to see a woman with a buggy standing there in the pouring rain.
To my surprise the bus driver turned his head back to the front window and did nothing. We waited for a while, during which time the woman continued knocking… awaiting some form of response from the driver. There was none.
I have to ask myself on many occasions am I too nosy, too into people’s business, why should this bother me if it bothers no one else on the bus? But I couldn’t keep quiet…
“Hi, Excuse me there’s a woman and a baby at the door” I stated… just in case he hadn’t noticed. At this point the driver turned around to me and began to stare at me like my old school principle - the look that says “Sit your a-- down, and don’t say nu-en else”. Maybe my petite frame and good genes fooled him into believing I was a school girl he could intimidate, but it’s been some time since my school days and I really didn’t appreciate that look.
“Did you not come from a woman” I asked, “and were you not a child at some time? Would you like your wife and child to be left out in that cold and wi
ndy rain storm?”
He retorted something about not being able to open up the doors for everyone or he would never leave. “I understand driver but we can’t go anywhere at the moment anyway, and we are still at the bus stop technically”. He was not trying to hear that at all and turned his back to me.
It was at that point I used the emergency button to open the exit door.
With one foot on the bus and one foot on the pavement I beckoned for the woman to come along out of the rain. By now, as it was time for the school run, there was another woman also with a baby in a buggy wanting to get on, and they did.
The first woman had a few choice words for the driver and the other was happily thawing out in her seat. Everyone happy yeah? – Uhhhmmm... No! The driver threw his hands up in the air, switched the engine off, and the whole bus went dark…
“I no driving anywhere, you don’t open my door, is my door, IS MY DOOR!” he shouted at me, eyes now glaring as wide as an Aye- aye's from behind his little cabin window. "You get out, NOW you get out!"
...Well, I can’t quite remember exactly what I said at that point… something along the lines of - No! This is Transport for London's bus, not yours, without passengers - there is no need for your job and about not letting a “position” get to his head etc. except with a mild Jamaican twang that really does work wonders… The engine and lights were swiftly switched back on, the doors opened wide for a further 5 people (some thanking me) to also board the bus back to the Shires. And off we went.
It occurred to me on the peaceful drive back to the Shires that this society rears the male to have certain views of women that do not promote a wholesome and realistic view of real women. They tend to have to fall into one of these categories: Sex symbols, house slave, a weaker/lesser version of a man that needs to be treated mean to be kept keen, or if she dares enter the world of business, women are still labelled as “hard bitches” if she stands her ground and takes no nonsense. Yet I’ve never heard the term “hard bastard” used when describing a savvy business man.
I was shocked at the disregard this man showed a baby and a woman in such weather, where was the reverence for the future and their carers. How could she and women in general, bloom happily to raise fully functioning, healthy and happy children if that is how the men of the society viewed and treated her and others?
I found myself going down the “how selfish men are” line of thought, when a situation took my attention off of that.
The second woman who had bought her buggy on had it turned vertically across two spaces, totally the opposite of the other two buggies which had assumed the correct position to be able to house four buggies instead of three. This meant that further along in the journey, another mother (probably also on the school run) was unable to get on the bus and had to wait in that awful weather for the next bus in 15 minutes time.
Kmt. After I just show you bout consideration a this you come do? I had to bring her out of her single minded Barbie girl world for a minute. “Baby girl,” she took her face out of her phone for a second and looked around. “That lady and her child just got left behind because you are taking up two spaces, you were glad to get on when I opened the door for you, why wouldn’t you consider someone else the same way?” She giggled nervously and shrugged her shoulders. I realised then that she was just totally oblivious to everything outside of her I-phone. I get it… the I/ME culture. I had to admit in my head, that we women can be just as selfish as men, knowingly or not.
and grey playground as all their friends wave goodbye, looking out worriedly for their mum’s arrival and all in freezing, wet weather. I have been that parent and that child. The ripple effect is real.
BTW, two of the original passengers who were getting off at different stops quietly nudged me on their way out and said “Good on yah for that” and “Yes, yes, you right, you do good”. I nodded and said take care.
We were all on the bus, we all saw her and the baby standing in the rain… and yet I don’t know if it be some unspoken English law of keeping a stiff upper lip, cold composure and the order to “Just carry on”, that prevented anyone from saying a word then or when the driver was telling me to get off the bus - but I do continue to find these things funny in a non-humorous way where ever I spot it. Just turn a blind eye for a quiet life. Punkship.
Is it possible that we have come to the point in humanity where we are so blinded by the illusion of man made status, money and gadgets that we no longer see each other?
Many of us are able to see people for whom and what they are and value people, their spirits, skills, uniqueness and experiences as such. Then, there are those of us that only see what you have, who you know, what you can do for them, or how they can get to manipulate you. If you provide none of the latter opportunities… than you will be deemed unworthy/ not of use. “Computer says Naoooo!”
I long for the good old days when commonly: men would give up a seat to a pregnant woman or an elderly person.
When men were already enough within themselves not to have to be in unspoken, macho competition with each other or their women. When elder women taught younger women instead of hating them for their youth and vitality. When young women could revere older women due to their wisdom and a common love and appreciation, instead of what I see commonly now- a- days… blinkers fully on, and relationships of all kinds on sale to the highest bidders.
Advancement is lovely, but not if we forget or let go of those things which were once the very basics of a well oiled standard of manners and consideration that kept social wheels turning smoothly.
I did not speak from the point of view that I think I am superior or “can do better than you”, my line of thought is, if I have discovered an easier or more beneficial way of doing something, I am sharing it with you. Tone of voice and suggestions of remedy should show that there is no animosity. Offence needn’t be taken, for it is collaboration and the sharing of ideas that has brought and continues to take human kind into the future. It is your choice to see if it is beneficial to you and others around you. In this case the driver listened, saw my point and many benefited as a result.
I too would and do appreciate the same input from my fellow humans being… in a language that I can overstand.
Be aware that not all beings are here to be used or abused, nor is everyone here to use and abuse others as Annie Lennox may have you believe… although, I am fully aware that these people do exist, (great song btw) however, there are those of us who are here to live our own lives in our own rights, who wish harmony to all around us and to be a part of a beautifully working, woven fabric of society.
While we may not always be able to afford the luxury of being aware of our surroundings, people around us and how our actions may or may not impact their lives, let us at least be aware of staying within our own personal spaces. I.E The car that holds up the lane next to them because unnoticed to them, they have driven over their lane lin
e, oblivious to the traffic piling up behind because their business of texting is far more important than anybody else’s business at that moment. Sometimes it’s not all about us, me or I. More than ever is a time that is about all of us together, and how we can all respectfully fit in… together, bridging gaps to complete the full picture that is harmonious earthly living.
If you can not find true harmony in your own life, at least have the decency not to get in the way of others who do or are on their personal quest, whether you deem it worthy or not.
If you can not or will not be of help to others, at least… don’t be a hindrance.
Till next time... One Love Peeps, The Purple Kayz